My Bio

Hi, my name is Andrew G. Watters. I am a radically honest, category-defying polymath based in Redwood City, California, USA. I am primarily a lawyer, with a law degree from U.C. College of Law San Francisco (formerly known as U.C. Hastings College of Law), a bachelor's degree from UCLA, and eighteen years of professional experience. I have had my own practice since 2012, and my own law firm since 2016. I offer legal services, including complex private investigations; and a custom software platform for attorneys called Slash. I am married to Mrs. Right, with whom I welcomed our daughter Jennifer in 2022. We started team-teaching an English program in 2023. My personal trademark is my carbon fiber briefcase from Tecknomonster, a combined aerospace/luggage company. For entertainment purposes, I recently resurrected a popular anonymous discussion board for lawyers called JD Underground, which has been a great diversion from the law firm for me.


June 7, 2024: I'm delighted to announce that I am working on a purpose-built facility called the Trial Laboratory. It's a dedicated space for next-generation private trials, mock trials, and legal training programs that permits high-resolution recording and optional broadcast of proceedings. Includes the System T S400 broadcast console from Solid State Logic; the Spirit II Valkyrie high performance computer designed by yours truly; studio cameras and lighting; 8K video recording of four independent 4K video tiles captured on an advanced capture device from the folks at Osprey Video; automatic speech recognition for live multi-speaker transcription, courtesy of NVIDIA AI; and real-time encoding on dual GPU's, also courtesy of NVIDIA. Broadcast will be handled by a custom RTMP setup using my badass Cogent Communications dedicated internet. There are many uses for this facility, which is intended as a resource for the legal community in my area as well. Once it's completed, you'll be blown away.

June 3, 2024: I finally got my 100G networking project back on track. Follow along as I install and configure the most outrageously overkilled small business LAN ever built.

May 24, 2024: Alert: I've been told that offshore criminals are impersonating me in trying to get money from people in a gift card scam. You can safely ignore those emails, which are not from me. Thanks!


These are my current business ventures:

Attorney - general civil litigation and complex family law, with eighteen years of experience and thirty-three trials (plus three JAMS arbitrations). Also available for complex private investigations, including missing persons/homicide and cyber/corporate espionage. Software platform Slash for licensing to fellow attorneys who want a non-Clio solution.

Rællic® - special projects, guitar projects, and my music hobby.

English Training / 英語培訓 - A training program that Tina and I teach together.

Tutorials and Articles

Here are my popular tutorials/articles/videos:

Linux tips and tricks - random tips learned the hard way. 🔥

Run your own email server Howto - have you ever wanted to take full control of your email? Not for the faint of heart.

Privoxy on macOS Howto - have you ever wanted to block ads on the web on your Mac without having to install MacPorts? This is for you.

Lattice™ - next-gen user interface for, featuring a novel technique for focus detection and raising.

Andy's Dashboard - a free charting solution for server administrators.

Introduction to microexpressions - my guest lecture at Stanford.

Unboxing a new IBM Model M keyboard - travel back in time to 1988.

Andy's Hardware - market research on the concept of a Made in USA hardware store.

100G office network Howto - the fastest, most reliable office LAN that money can buy.

10 gigabit networking - a howto on my 10 gig office setup, which rocks.

The Forever War - my superfan-level tribute to the greatest science fiction novel of all time.

A fractal crystal lattice of Gaussian primes - research on the fractality of prime numbers in Mathematica.

My trademark concept art - I commissioned this piece from a vision in my head, and I decided to start using it as my background. It really fits me, I think.

Hall of Fame: services, products, and service providers that I use and strongly recommend.

Hall of Shame: if someone gets me to the point of posting a whole web page about them on here, you know they went way too far in whatever they were doing wrong.