My Bio

Hi, my name is Andrew G. Watters. I am a radically honest, category-defying polymath based in Redwood City, California, USA. I am primarily a lawyer, with a law degree from U.C. College of Law San Francisco (formerly known as U.C. Hastings College of Law), a bachelor's degree from UCLA, and nineteen years of professional experience. I have had my own practice since 2012, and my own law firm since 2016. I offer legal services, including complex private investigations; and a custom software platform for attorneys called Slash. I am married to Mrs. Right, with whom I welcomed our daughter Jennifer in 2022. My personal trademark is my carbon fiber briefcase from Tecknomonster, a combined aerospace/luggage company. For entertainment purposes, I recently resurrected a popular anonymous discussion board for lawyers called JD Underground, which has been a great diversion from the law firm for me. I also sometimes build computer systems and custom guitars, which I find to be self-actualizing. I am originally from San Francisco, which I always enjoy telling people because Dirty Harry shares my hometown. Finally, like Thanos and Tony Stark, I am cursed with knowledge-- and I try to use this substantial gift for positive things.

News

May 20, 2025: I've decided to release a Hall of Shame page about the FBI Special Agent Clearance Unit in order to address false, defamatory claims made about me by an insane attorney in the community who is also in my Hall of Shame. I hope folks find it helpful or at least entertaining.

May 12, 2025: We had a little fun today paying homage to one of my favorite films, Reservoir Dogs. This is a reference to the famous circular shot of the "Commode Story" told by Mr. Orange. This was our best attempt, although I will do it properly for the final. This went on the firm website because I am that big of a cinema fan.

May 10, 2025: Show and tell from my side gig of software engineering: this concept is responsive to a Broad Agency Announcement from DARPA and relates to hypersonic glide vehicles (HGVs), which are an emerging threat from Russia and China. I call my design Infinity Stone. It's intended to compute the tracks and targets of HGVs against a blue team target list with weights using Bayes's Theorem and A.I. inference. I wrote a full proposal on my website, but today was the first day of work on the proof of concept. After one day, I have a real-time updated track in Google Earth Pro that shows the launch point, apogee, and impact point of a simulated HGV launched from a submarine at my office (lol). The start of something great.

May 2, 2025: Announcing Divorcing.Law, a joint venture between my law firm and Griffin Donnell + Associates in Beverly Hills. Virginia E. Griffin and myself are the principals of this new platform, which is rolling out a video-on-demand service for masterclasses on various family law subjects, plus live demonstrations in my Trial Laboratory. I'm excited about this opportunity. More info on the website, which just went live: www.divorcing.law

Ventures

These are my current business ventures:

Attorney - general civil litigation and complex family law, with nineteen years of experience and 40+ trials. Also available for complex private investigations, including missing persons/homicide and cyber/corporate espionage. Software platform Slash for licensing to fellow attorneys who want a non-Clio solution. Video-on-demand masterclasses in family law as a joint venture with a L.A. law firm.

Rællic® - Advanced Information Systems and custom guitars.

The Polite Gunfighter® - legal program for CCW holders in California.

Tutorials and Articles

Here are my popular tutorials/articles/videos:

Linux tips and tricks - random tips learned the hard way. 🔥

Creative writing - I seem to have an unusual connection to the ether that gives me a limitless supply of material.

Jack Reacher - "He doesn't care about the law. He doesn't care about proof. He only cares about what's right." That's why Jack Reacher is my hero. This is a writeup of the 2012 film, which is my favorite version of Jack Reacher because Tom Cruise fits the role so well-- and the film doesn't shy away from controversial topics, such as mass murder and sexual homicide. Coming soon.

Run your own email server Howto - have you ever wanted to take full control of your email? Not for the faint of heart.

Privoxy on macOS Howto - have you ever wanted to block ads on the web on your Mac without having to install MacPorts? This is for you.

Lattice™ - next-gen user interface for slash.law, featuring a novel technique for focus detection and raising.

Andy's Dashboard - a free charting solution for server administrators.

Introduction to microexpressions - my guest lecture at Stanford.

Unboxing a new IBM Model M keyboard - travel back in time to 1988.

Andy's Hardware - market research on the concept of a Made in USA hardware store.

100G office network Howto - the fastest, most reliable office LAN that money can buy.

10 gigabit networking - a howto on my 10 gig office setup, which rocks.

The Forever War - my superfan-level tribute to the greatest science fiction novel of all time.

A fractal crystal lattice of Gaussian primes - research on the fractality of prime numbers in Mathematica.

My trademark concept art - I commissioned this piece from a vision in my head, and I decided to start using it as my background. It really fits me, I think.

Hall of Fame: services, products, and service providers that I use and strongly recommend.

Hall of Shame: if someone gets me to the point of posting a whole web page about them on here, you know they went way too far in whatever they were doing wrong.